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She's back!!, our guest writer who brought us many enjoyable "A Knight to remember articles" and knows a thing or two about men, joins us for some hilarity in 2012. This time instead of bringing us "guy" news from Dubai's social scene she is out and about in London "dahling".Grab a cuppa and read on below....
Scarlett Knight on Getting the Guy
Scarlett kick starts the new year by acknowledging her dating techniques have not been working and so checks into a Get the Guy seminar in London…..
Illustration by Samar Sadik: Samarsadik@gmail.com
Clearly I’m doing something wrong. I’ve had a total of four dates in eight months and not one of them has left a lasting impression, let alone a warm and fuzzy glow in their aftermath, despite promising build ups and favourable reviews from friends.
So, in an attempt to kick start this year as I mean to go (with quality men and a meaningful relationship as an aim) I signed up for a Get the Guy one-day seminar whilst passing through London recently.
The workshop promised to help “find the guy, get the guy and keep the guy”. I was very excited.
Naturally I got there early and was in the front row with an iphone and notepad to hand. (I was attending on behalf of several single friends who wanted a full debrief).
Led by Matthew Hussey, a dating guru who looks as if he should be in a boy band, and appears regularly on breakfast tv in Britain, his knowledge of what men want and how they operate has been gleaned during his work as a personal coach or ‘life strategist’ to more than 2,000 professional males.
The session began with Matthew throwing out sound bites to the audience at a rate of knots hard to keep up with. A selection included: “Competence creates confidence, Simple works, Waiting leads to nothing or the wrong result, Success is about being happy, not about being in a relationship, Some people live in comfort rather than achieving the extraordinary…”
You get the picture. These evangelical quotes interspersed with personal anecdotes soon had the audience whipped up into a fervor not seen since Take That reunited. I felt trapped in a massive hen party without a costume. (I was trying to channel Ali MacGraw in the Love Story – i.e flared jeans, preppy accessories and a worldly wise attitude).
While I have read or at least skimmed over most of the Personal Relationship section at MaGrudy’s not all of what Matthew said was new, but I did learn a few things. That being, I have to start taking a lot more risks. ‘Creating opportunities’ was what Matthew urged us to do. That included engaging in conversation where and whenever we could with guys who took our fancy. (Creating an opportunity apparently does not mean making the first move). Establishing eye contact, being a lot more ‘playful’ and not worrying so much about the end result as much as the immediate situation, were also encouraged.
Appealing to men’s need to provide and protect was another nugget. As in, “will you fix my lightbulb/hold my coat/sort out my computer?” And here was I trying hard to be independent all these years. I have since been trying to perfect my Little Girl Lost look.
He also told us that men do not have as many non-verbal body language clues as women. So when approaching the object of your affection for the first time it’s safer to do this laterally than face on; less intimidating apparently. That’s another reason why first dates in a dining scenario can be so stressful – it looks too much like an interview for some guys.
While he threw out other hints in for long term relationships, which I have filed away for another time, his main point was the need for action NOW. Attracting a guy should not wait until Ladies Night, the weekend or the office party, or be held off until you have retouched your roots and had a refresher shape and polish.
The majority of the audience left on a high while I felt as a recovering alcoholic must. I had accepted my problem and started on the 12 month programme. I’ll keep you posted!
Drop a comment in the comment box and tell us what you think of Scarlett's recent adventures in London- better still tell her yourself at scarlettknight1@hotmail.com
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