What's in... Editor's Blog

A Knight to Remember: How to spot a player

This is our regular series of articles depicting the life of girl about town Scarlett Knight, in this update she tells us the Ugly truth about a player she has been dating - Ed.

Full disclosure moment. I’ve just found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. For once though I’m not feeling (or acting) like a victim. A new month starts this week so it's time for a new approach, and obviously a new man. However, before I start over, consider the facts.

I’d been dating The Love Rat for three months and in that time had introduced him to a wide circle of friends, both male and female, who told me unanimously he was, “definitely into me.” I realise now that he acted the part very well; said friends are equally shocked at their lack of perception. He texted, emailed, phoned and dated me to perfection. So when I was asked randomly over a business lunch, of all places, if I was seeing anyone, I felt I could say yes without jinxing myself. I gave a few details (name, rank and serial number) and moved on to the main agenda of the meeting. Fortunately the enquirer was one smart cookie and she realised the meagre details I offered sounded all too familiar. You see, she had another friend who had recently begun seeing someone with the same credentials and realised that it was no coincidence. After much deliberation and a fair amount of guts she spilled the beans. While both of us were none the wiser to each other’s existence, the ugly truth did not come with the promise of a Gerard Butler- sized happy ending.

Illustration by Samar Sadik:

When confronted, The Love Rat was backed into a corner and confessed all. In fact he said too much. Apparently he’d been trying to break up with me, despite the fact that his last date/conversation was all about planning a romantic dinner and the impression that he was taking time off (when he returned from a business trip) to spend with me. Lots more of this sort of stuff was said which I have since replayed on a loop in my head.  I’ve also had total recall on our last three months – and I’m sure there were no misinterpreted breaks in conversation for The Talk, but I am now past caring.

In the event, I did not scream, hurl abuse, cry or drink and dial. It’s taken a long time to realise that revenge really is best served cold. I simply reminded him that Dubai is a village and the matrix had closed in on his double life. While he has tried numerous times to contact me, I’ve resisted. I suspect he wants to salve his conscience and apologise, if not ask for forgiveness, but I’m not feeling that generous with my time.
While Fergie, Tana Ramsay,Victoria Beckham and their ilk can endorse the Tammy Wynette approach of Standing By Your Man, I do not. Secretly I suspect that their misplaced loyalty will be proved futile in the long term.

In reality, I think my Love Rat, like most players, wanted to have his cake and eat it for as long as he could get away with it. On hindsight my gut instinct told me he was not a keeper. I didn’t lose much (ok, about a week) sleep on him. My rationale; it’s best to start the future sooner rather than later.


Have you got a Player on your hands?

• If he seems too good to be true, he probably is.
• Actions speak louder than words. Has he followed through on his promises?
• Does he pride himself on his appearance, rather than compliment you on yours?
• Does he have one eye on you and one eye over your shoulder at all times?
• Analyse his text lingo – is it brief and all about him by any chance?
• Has he mentioned, tantalisingly, that he has not yet found The One?
• Keep him guessing how you feel: conquest is everything for him.
• Introduce him to your girl friends. Is he overly friendly with them?
• All you can rely on is the evidence. Are there some days you cannot account for his whereabouts?
• Has he got a Swiss Army Knife? For those notches in his bed post…

If you’d like to email Scarlett about your own Tiger Woods type tales, her contact details are: scarlettknight1@hotmail.com